Wednesday, January 6, 2016

8 Whole Months

8 months since the painful and wonderful day that I brought my little angel into the world. Once more, I cannot believe how the time has flown. Cory and I were always happy. We have been blessed with a wonderful life. And yet, at the moment I wonder at a life without Levi. He makes me smile every day. The kind of smile that I can feel coming straight from my hear and shining out of my own eyes as I watch him. He is learning and progressing every day.  What a busy little boy he has become. All of his little accomplishments make him so proud. He has been reaching for people for awhile now. But in the last week he has really grown attached to his dad and reaches for him all the time. Cory loves it. He has been crawling like a champ for almost a month now. If I put him in the living room and go into the kitchen it is usually a matter of a few moments that I can hear his little grunts coming down the hall. When I peak my head around so he can see me, he stops wherever he is and puts up one hand, signifying that he wants me to picks him up. I tell him to, "come get mama" and he keeps trudging along for a few more feet before he puts his hand up again. So precious. He has been pulling himself up on everything for the last two weeks. Today when he was standing against a box in his room he moved his hands to rest against his dresser and one little foot followed before he balanced and then collapsed on the floor. I just love to sit and watch him. It is as if I can see the wheels spinning in his mind as he tries to figure out how to accomplish his goal.

And so we are tackling yet another year. The best year of my life so far, I really have no doubt. As I was writing my long list of goals and pages of things I am going to accomplish this year and on a daily basis I stopped a second and looked at my little baby. There are about twenty things on my list that I want to make sure I get in every day. But when I looked at my list it said nothing about enjoying the precious moments I have with my boy. Which Is ridiculous because every moment is different from the last. Every day we can create a new memory based on the new things he is doing. And so I have another goal for each day. I am going to get down on the floor and enjoy my baby. He loves it when I get on the floor. Wherever he is he starts crawling to me as fast as he can with the biggest smile. Today we are playing peek a boo. He thought it was so funny. Oh man, to be as cool in real life as Levi thinks I am.

Motherhood has turned me into such a strange person. I understand now how, after six children, my dad will cry at the drop of a hat. I am sure I am on track to be exactly the same way. I want to cry every time I think of the early days when Levi would just lay in my arms. The first moment he looked at me as he was laying on my chest. The first time he smiled at me. The way he looked when he used to suck his thumb. How easy it was to have sleepy cuddle days in bed because he was not quite so motivated to touch everything... Even the best things in life unfold with a little bit of pain.

I better stop my ramblings before I break down and end up spending the rest of my night watching videos of when Levi was first born. Really.... a bit ridiculous.

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