Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Sunday Naps

In the latter months of my pregnancy I read the book “On Becoming Baby Wise”, I visited baby wise mommy blogs, and I grilled my sisters on rules and procedure. I was going to “give my child the gift of night time sleep”. I knew that it would be easier to start from the beginning and be strict. I was sure I could let my baby cry if it would eventually help him to sleep and make me a better mom for having my own sleep.

With all this in mind I got a little crazy in the beginning. I would feel so stressed out when his schedule got thrown off, afraid that I had ruined everything. I could see my mom’s concern at my obsession to do things perfectly with my little baby. I even had several of my sisters tell my on many occasions that it was okay if he was late on this feeding or missed that nap. He was fine.
With all this in mind I was living in a state of panic that while I was so caught up in training I was missing the moments. I was forced to put my sweet angel in bed instead of rocking him to sleep because I wanted him to learn to fall asleep on his own. I had to listen to his little cry for mommy without rushing in right away to comfort him. And you know, none of it hurt him… it only impacted me.
Well, long story short. I mellowed out. I stuck to my original plan and continued with my sleep training, eating and napping schedule. But I learned to be a little bit more relaxed when life inevitably threw us off.
But because of all of my frenzied training I have learned to look forward to Sunday afternoons more than ever. Even when I was in the midst of teaching him his habits I gave myself the day off from all of my rules, making sure he would fall asleep on his own in his bed. When his daddy is off golfing Levi and I cozy up in bed together to nurse and sleep cuddled in each other’s arms.
I could have sat there today and watched him for hours as I listened to his sweet breathing. He was curled up against my side, his little feet resting on my hip and his little hand on my chest. He makes the cutest little breathing noises that have the cutest methodical rhythm. He loves to sleep with his Mommy’s arm around him.
All of my hard work paid off. He is an amazingly well trained little 12 week old. He sleeps through the night and is so sweet natured. But I gained something far more valuable than that from this whole experience. I learned how to just enjoy the little moments without always getting caught up in the long term. He is growing so fast, and I want to remember those amazing times with him cuddled against my chest in the middle of the night, or rocking in his chair before bed time, or his sweet smile every morning when I lean my head over his bassinet. These little precious moments are so fleeting and it pains me because I am already finding it difficult to recall all of the little details of my baby’s growth.  His little face has become so mature. I am just amazed by him. Every little expression that he makes is my favorite thing.



Sunday, July 19, 2015

Kali and David say, "I Do"

I had the privilege of capturing Kali and David's big day on June 26th. And what a spectacular day it was indeed. The bride and all her guest were threatened with fire, evacuation, helicopters, rain, hail, oil spills, and who knows what else. A family that could have been overcome with stress seemed to laugh at how ridiculous it all seemed and continued with their preparations. I admit that I felt a sense of foreboding as I drove to the site of the beautiful outdoor wedding and found that the clouds were opening up to drop their showers upon the event. And yet, when the ceremony hour came it was as if a calm came over the whole place. The sky was clear the helicopters had stopped, and the family and friends made it up safely. It was a beautiful ceremony followed my a wonderful reception. The rain clouds made for an amazing sunset and the ambiance of the whole place rang with happiness for the newlyweds.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Best Friends

Having a big family is such a blessing. If for no other reason, my children will not have a shortage of good friends. I am a big believer in association and when I look at the state of our society I sometimes wonder if my child will ever be able to leave the home, gym, and church... sheltered? You better believe it. Thankfully he will get much socialization from many wonderful little friends whose parents are likeminded in beliefs and parenting.

Watson, Levi's big cousin of four months old, came over for a visit yesterday. I had to take some pictures of these two adorable boys side by side. The first of many to come I am sure.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Late Night Ramblings of a Mommy

It has been two months since I have been so abundantly blessed with my little miracle. I cannot even believe how the time has flown. I could kick myself for letting all of the little nothings in life impede me from properly documenting this amazing season. I had such lofty hopes of profound pieces alongside beautiful photos. Alas, life with a new little baby is tremendously busy. Not to mention my house, husband, and business… Just excuses.

Instead of lamenting my failure over the last two months I am going to accept the fact that I will not be composing something grand about my experience as a mother thus far. It just isn’t going to happen at this point in my life, unfortunately. However, I am going to stop waiting for the perfect words and the perfect time and just take a minute to talk about the little things. After all, it is all the little things that make up each of our unique journeys in life.
Levi is changing every day. His familiar little face is so different from the first moment I saw him. Silly me, it makes my heart ache to see how much bigger he is. I just want to hold on to these moments. I remember when he was only five days old I was feeling so upset about how fast the time was going, longing for him to stay small. Then my sister brought over my little nephew 8 weeks old and he was smiling at his mommy so much. It made me realize how much I looked forward to Levi smiling at me. Therefore the time passing wasn’t scary, as long as I treasured each moment and every little event in Levi’s growth.
The first time he smiled at me I remember distinctly. I got a lump in my throat as he tried to communicate his love for me through his little expression. It was amazing. He smiles at me all the time now and I am amazed how every single time it just melts my heart. He talks to me with his little angelic voice, letting me know he loves me. There are no words to describe the love I feel for this little person.
Life is full of all sorts of adventures in his small life. It makes me sad to think that my memory will allow all the cute little details to fade. But I am going to jot down a few things that literally fill my heart with joy. For weeks he has been trying desperately to suck his thumb. I don’t really want him to be a thumb sucker, but every time I see him trying to suckle I have to laugh at how cute it is. Even when I hear the little sucking noise when he is lying in his bed I smile. Such cute noises he makes. Recently he has found his hands to be very interesting. He is always playing with them, folding them and unfolding them, clasping his fingers. It is so precious.  
Since the moment he was born he was bright eyed and alert. That has been accentuated as he has gotten older. He loves to stare at so many things. My mom says that he sees angels. I am inclined to agree, he has such amazing peace upon him. If he is not staring off into one specific corner of the room, lately his eyes have been following me, tracking everywhere I am going. If he is lying on my bed and I am moving around he moves his head in order to see where I am. His eyes stay locked on me. I love it. Sometimes he gets the most adorable little worried expression. I am not even sure why, but his brows knit and he looks around like he is not sure about something. I love it. And his big, bright eyes, amazing. Sometimes they look perfectly round, they are so big. Oh man, he is a special boy.
There is one little detail that I want to get a picture of so badly. When he is going down for a nap and I go over to comfort him, I put his pacifier in his mouth and hold it in with my hand resting against his check and head. He takes both of his little hands and puts them on top of mine. It is as if he is trying to keep me there. It is the sweetest thing in the world.
Sometimes when he has been awake and fussy for a little while, we go out and sit on the deck together. I face him out and he quiets down immediately as his head bobs back and forth looking at everything there is to see. We have sat there for twenty minutes at a time as his eyes soak in the surroundings. He finds everything so interesting. I have moments of being happy when he is going down for a nap so that I can get stuff done. But after only a little while, I miss him. When I think I hear movement from his crib or a little noise I get excited that I can pick him up and cuddle him. My favorite thing in the word is when he cuddles on my chest, especially when he is awake and just looking around content to have his mommy’s arms around him. I just hope that he can feel how much he is loved.
I really can’t believe it has been two months. But at the same time, what did I ever do without this wonderful little person?
Well gone are the days of late night profundity and inspiration. But I would never revert back considering what I have now… late night ramblings of a mommy so in love.

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