Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Sunday Naps

In the latter months of my pregnancy I read the book “On Becoming Baby Wise”, I visited baby wise mommy blogs, and I grilled my sisters on rules and procedure. I was going to “give my child the gift of night time sleep”. I knew that it would be easier to start from the beginning and be strict. I was sure I could let my baby cry if it would eventually help him to sleep and make me a better mom for having my own sleep.

With all this in mind I got a little crazy in the beginning. I would feel so stressed out when his schedule got thrown off, afraid that I had ruined everything. I could see my mom’s concern at my obsession to do things perfectly with my little baby. I even had several of my sisters tell my on many occasions that it was okay if he was late on this feeding or missed that nap. He was fine.
With all this in mind I was living in a state of panic that while I was so caught up in training I was missing the moments. I was forced to put my sweet angel in bed instead of rocking him to sleep because I wanted him to learn to fall asleep on his own. I had to listen to his little cry for mommy without rushing in right away to comfort him. And you know, none of it hurt him… it only impacted me.
Well, long story short. I mellowed out. I stuck to my original plan and continued with my sleep training, eating and napping schedule. But I learned to be a little bit more relaxed when life inevitably threw us off.
But because of all of my frenzied training I have learned to look forward to Sunday afternoons more than ever. Even when I was in the midst of teaching him his habits I gave myself the day off from all of my rules, making sure he would fall asleep on his own in his bed. When his daddy is off golfing Levi and I cozy up in bed together to nurse and sleep cuddled in each other’s arms.
I could have sat there today and watched him for hours as I listened to his sweet breathing. He was curled up against my side, his little feet resting on my hip and his little hand on my chest. He makes the cutest little breathing noises that have the cutest methodical rhythm. He loves to sleep with his Mommy’s arm around him.
All of my hard work paid off. He is an amazingly well trained little 12 week old. He sleeps through the night and is so sweet natured. But I gained something far more valuable than that from this whole experience. I learned how to just enjoy the little moments without always getting caught up in the long term. He is growing so fast, and I want to remember those amazing times with him cuddled against my chest in the middle of the night, or rocking in his chair before bed time, or his sweet smile every morning when I lean my head over his bassinet. These little precious moments are so fleeting and it pains me because I am already finding it difficult to recall all of the little details of my baby’s growth.  His little face has become so mature. I am just amazed by him. Every little expression that he makes is my favorite thing.



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