A Bedtime Story

I rocked my baby to sleep tonight. Because of my determination to have a baby who goes to sleep on his own, I have not often does so; which is probably why this evening made such an impact on me. There is nothing like being a mom when your baby is crying hysterically and the minute you pull him up into your arms he quiets down and snuggles into your neck. I could hear his quick breathes as he was trying to calm himself down. I just held that precious little being in my arms in the darkness and started singing “how he loves us” and rocked him back and forth. His little hand found my face and neck in sweet baby caresses. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness I could just barely make out his heavy little eyes looking up to where he could hear his mommy’s voice. It wasn’t long before I was crying in the darkness…silly girl. It was a great combination of things… a heavy heart at how quickly the time is passing, pain at the thought of my sweet baby being too big to rock to sleep, gratefulness that I am the one who is able to comfort him above all else, pride in being the mom of precious Levi. I rocked him and held him close to my heart long after he fell asleep.

I had to take a moment tonight to jot down this memory because I know all too well how quickly it will fade. It hurts me to think of how many special moments I have already had with Levi that will fall by the wayside on this road called life.

Four Months Have Come and Gone

Well my baby's four month birthday has come and gone. He is getting bigger and more interactive every day. I am having such fun watching his little personality develop. He has the sweetest little nature. I cannot even describe the joy that this little boy has brought to my life.

I am going to take a minute to jot down a few memories I want to treasure.

Levi smiles and laughs all the time. Especially at me, oh how wonderful to be the mommy of Levi. He thinks I am pretty awesome. He thinks I am funny.

As far as all of his little accomplishments... he has rolled over three times. None of which I observed. It was almost as if his body flipped around and then he wasn't sure what happened. The last time he just looked at me at me and laughed. Although I missed the actual rolling over, his sweet little look and laugh was just the most precious thing.

The other night when he was crying quite a bit at bed time I went in to comfort him. I pat his back and bent down so my face was close to his and just started praying for him. He locked eyes on me and smiled a little and then just stared. It was as if he was listening to every word I was saying. I was speaking God's promises over his life and scripture over his future and he loved it.

Levi loves to look at himself in the mirror. He must think he is pretty cute because he always has a smile when he stares into his own eyes.

It has probably been a month now that he has become very interested in sucking. Everything goes into his mouth. It is pretty funny sometimes. When I go to kiss his face he turns his head quickly to try to clamp his little gums down on something.

This morning I pulled him in bed with me early so we could snuggle a little bit. He stopped crying instantly, started sucking his thumb and then just ran his other hand up and down my face. Those are the moments in motherhood I want to treasure forever.

Every morning we have time talking and playing in bed before we start the day. I have always done "so big" with him ever since his legs were strong enough (which was at like 2 or 3 weeks). Now he loves it. Whenever I grab his hands and start saying "how big is Levi" he smiles the biggest smile in expectation.

A Belated Three Month Post

My sweet little boy turned four months old this week and I am just now going through his three month pictures. In my defense it has been a busy month. I will expound more upon all of the changes in my world with Levi soon. For now, here is the product of our three month photo session. I feel like there are no strong enough words to describe how much I love this baby.... but I am sure moms everywhere understand.

 

What I am Loving

My little Levi, my precious angel, is already three months old. At the risk of sounding redundant I must express my concern at my inability to effectively describe all of the amazing moments I experience with my baby. It is late, and I am tired. But I spent a few minutes this evening watching some videos of 2 week old Levi. Oh how difficult it is to see the gradual changes that are taking place every day, until I look back at the tiny baby he once was. It really hurts my heart to think of the inevitable passing of time. Life is not easy, even the best parts about it bring pain. Without any more ado, I am just going to jot down a few things I am loving about this 3 month old season.

1.      I love when Levi sees me and I can watch the recognition and joy on his face. He has really grown to know and love his mommy, and it melts my heart.

2.      My favorite thing has been when I catch my sweet boy looking at me with the most loving expression, even when I am not looking. I feel the need to drop whatever I am doing so that I can live in that moment, where his love for me is written so clearly in his sweet little face.

3.      I love when he first wakes up from a good nap in his car seat and he is just staring down with his fat cheeks and huge eyes. The expression on his face makes me laugh to think about. I will have to make sure I get a picture of it.

4.      When Levi is hungry and I am just getting ready to feed him, it is the cutest thing the way he opens his mouth as wide as it will go, waiting for his food. So sweet.

5.      When he is getting full while nursing or he is getting distracted he has been smiling at me from his place at my chest. Sweetest moment.

6.      The cutest thing ever. Levi loves to tell his dad about his day. He talks to me too, all the time. But there is something different when he talks to his dad. When Cory gets home from work and spends some time with Levi, he looks in his eyes and just starts talking. It is really as if he wanted to tell his daddy all about everything that he did with mommy that day. So sweet.

7.      A few days ago Levi was having a hard time going down for a nap. After letting him fuss and whine for a while I came to comfort him. I rubbed his head and started singing to him. His eyes just locked on mine and he smiled. After a few minutes his eyes started getting heavy and he would close them a second, only to open them right back up to find my eyes and smile. He did that several times before he finally gave in and drifted off in to sweet baby dreamland.

8.      When he is in a really happy mood and gets excited he occasionally lets out the most adorable, abrupt little giggle. His whole body reacts with happiness. It is as if he cannot contain his excitement. It is enough to make me laugh out of joy every time.

9.      I love the way his little hand rubs or pats my chest while he is nursing. Such special moments the two of have together while he nurses.

10.   Sometimes he gets the sweetest little shy smile. He will be smiling big and then blink really slowly and look down before looking back at you. As if he wasn’t already ridiculously cute, I can just see what a sweet little nature he has.

Down the line when my memory begins to fade in regards to all the little things my baby does, at least I will remember some of these precious moments. The moments that life is made of. I can hear the faint breathing of my sweet baby and the not quite as faint breathing of his daddy. I think it is time for me to join them. Such a wonderfully blessed life.

 

Sunday Naps

In the latter months of my pregnancy I read the book “On Becoming Baby Wise”, I visited baby wise mommy blogs, and I grilled my sisters on rules and procedure. I was going to “give my child the gift of night time sleep”. I knew that it would be easier to start from the beginning and be strict. I was sure I could let my baby cry if it would eventually help him to sleep and make me a better mom for having my own sleep.

With all this in mind I got a little crazy in the beginning. I would feel so stressed out when his schedule got thrown off, afraid that I had ruined everything. I could see my mom’s concern at my obsession to do things perfectly with my little baby. I even had several of my sisters tell my on many occasions that it was okay if he was late on this feeding or missed that nap. He was fine.

With all this in mind I was living in a state of panic that while I was so caught up in training I was missing the moments. I was forced to put my sweet angel in bed instead of rocking him to sleep because I wanted him to learn to fall asleep on his own. I had to listen to his little cry for mommy without rushing in right away to comfort him. And you know, none of it hurt him… it only impacted me.

Well, long story short. I mellowed out. I stuck to my original plan and continued with my sleep training, eating and napping schedule. But I learned to be a little bit more relaxed when life inevitably threw us off.

But because of all of my frenzied training I have learned to look forward to Sunday afternoons more than ever. Even when I was in the midst of teaching him his habits I gave myself the day off from all of my rules, making sure he would fall asleep on his own in his bed. When his daddy is off golfing Levi and I cozy up in bed together to nurse and sleep cuddled in each other’s arms.

I could have sat there today and watched him for hours as I listened to his sweet breathing. He was curled up against my side, his little feet resting on my hip and his little hand on my chest. He makes the cutest little breathing noises that have the cutest methodical rhythm. He loves to sleep with his Mommy’s arm around him.

All of my hard work paid off. He is an amazingly well trained little 12 week old. He sleeps through the night and is so sweet natured. But I gained something far more valuable than that from this whole experience. I learned how to just enjoy the little moments without always getting caught up in the long term. He is growing so fast, and I want to remember those amazing times with him cuddled against my chest in the middle of the night, or rocking in his chair before bed time, or his sweet smile every morning when I lean my head over his bassinet. These little precious moments are so fleeting and it pains me because I am already finding it difficult to recall all of the little details of my baby’s growth.  His little face has become so mature. I am just amazed by him. Every little expression that he makes is my favorite thing.

 

 

Kali and David say, "I Do"

I had the privilege of capturing Kali and David's big day on June 26th. And what a spectacular day it was indeed. The bride and all her guest were threatened with fire, evacuation, helicopters, rain, hail, oil spills, and who knows what else. A family that could have been overcome with stress seemed to laugh at how ridiculous it all seemed and continued with their preparations. I admit that I felt a sense of foreboding as I drove to the site of the beautiful outdoor wedding and found that the clouds were opening up to drop their showers upon the event. And yet, when the ceremony hour came it was as if a calm came over the whole place. The sky was clear the helicopters had stopped, and the family and friends made it up safely. It was a beautiful ceremony followed my a wonderful reception. The rain clouds made for an amazing sunset and the ambiance of the whole place rang with happiness for the newlyweds.

 

Best Friends

Having a big family is such a blessing. If for no other reason, my children will not have a shortage of good friends. I am a big believer in association and when I look at the state of our society I sometimes wonder if my child will ever be able to leave the home, gym, and church... sheltered? You better believe it. Thankfully he will get much socialization from many wonderful little friends whose parents are likeminded in beliefs and parenting.

Watson, Levi's big cousin of four months old, came over for a visit yesterday. I had to take some pictures of these two adorable boys side by side. The first of many to come I am sure.