Friday, March 21, 2014

A Decade Later

Its late… my sixteen year old self would be tapping away at this keyboard wildly right now; creating stories of heroes and heroines. Who would fall in love with whom? What adventure was life going to bring them? The romance which enveloped the mystery of my own future gave wings to my inspiration and imagination. My heart would pump with hope and anticipation; for both the character of my imagination, and for myself.

Yes, I was one of those girls who lived vicariously through fictional characters. I dreamed of being swept off my feet by prince charming. 

Now here I am, a grown woman in her very own house. I have a husband sleeping soundly beside me. Sometimes I feel like I am still just a girl, playing grown up in this happy little life I lead.

The mystery which drove my inspiration has long died away… I don’t even know the last time I took up the proverbial pen to remember my friends of long ago. Things are just different now. You writers will understand…

This is my life. Wonderful as it is, the course is set clearly before me. I am called to love this man lying beside me. I am called to be a wonderful mother to his children someday. And I am called to be an ambassador for Christ.

There is not a lot of mystery anymore. And perhaps not much of the romance that I always dreamed of. But that’s okay. A different, more lasting, romance exists in matrimony. Teenage fantasies die and leave you with something far greater, and certainly far more real. Commitment. Security.

Funny the thoughts you have late at night. I pulled out my computer and thought… maybe if I listen to “Dustland Fairytale” five more times I will be able to conjure up a little piece of fiction. Instead I have truly seen, perhaps for the first time, that my life is not only different from when I was sixteen. But I am different.

2 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. its just life lady. Pregnant or No, life will do it to you

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