Tuesday, April 15, 2014

It Just Shouldn't Be

In the last few weeks I have come across some instances of things that just shouldn’t be. And so I decided that it was high time for another installment of Things You Should Never Do.

Once more… I am not saying that I had any personal affiliation with any of these occurrences. Perhaps these are things that, as a general rule, shouldn’t be done. You might learn something very valuable and save yourself some awkward moments in the future.

1. You should never wear your new cute, white sweater while eating spaghetti for dinner…. That is an accident waiting to happen. And then, if you happen to splatter yourself a tiny, tiny bit, you certainly should NOT keep the sweater on until you splatter yourself AGAIN in a more obvious place! I mean… why would you ever do that???

2. You should not go to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner when you are trying to get your vacation beach body. That is just a wonderful building full of temptation. The least of which is the cheesecake (there is that in abundance as well) but the bread and the pasta and more bread is the worst (or best, depending on how you look at it). And also, if you are at aforementioned restaurant in the specific instance of trying to stay slim, you should not feel enraged that the waitress only brought you one basket of bread and three clumps of butter, and you really should not ask for another basket of bread (with extra butter!) even though she brought your heap of pasta already.

3. You should never have your bread maker sitting on the counter when you start it after having an experience a few weeks prior with the kneading cycle spinning the bread maker off the counter and onto the floor. If it happened once…. It will happen again. I am just saying. But…. Hypothetically speaking, if that were me… I would still pick that pile of dough up, stick it back in the bread maker, and eat it.

4. You should not have the following sequence of events occur:
a. Lecture your husband about buying a HUGE box of haggen-dazs bars because you don’t want the temptation
b.      Eat some with him the next night
c.       Come home the subsequent night and discover he ate one without you
d.      Lecture him about eating one without you
e.      Eat the LAST bar by yourself without even sharing a morsel with him

5.  And finally… if you have committed to doing squats every day, you should not get into bed prior to doing them just because you want to cuddle a little. It is no fun to get out of your cozy bed and have to do a hundred plus squats in the dark. Or you might be faced with the temptation to skip them altogether. Oh dear…

What are some things you think should never be done?


  1. Thanks Jonni, this provided me with a few much-need chuckles.
    Some things I think should never be done...
    -Throwing your clothes onto the bed when changing thinking that you will come back to hang them up that day
    -Getting into bed without brushing your teeth (of course this is the same principle as the squats, but I never skimp on my teeth and so I always have to get out of bed....and my tiled bathroom floor stays so cold!)
    OK, those are just a few... I'm going to do my squats now before bed :)

    1. he he I have definitely done the clothes thing a time or two. And I try never to get into bed without brushing my teeth. That is the rub

  2. awesome and awesome! Good chuckle. I wondered about that bread maker falling off the counter for the second time incident...not that I had any previous knowledge of that happening to anyone particular.

    1. He he, it just seems weird to make bread on the floor....

  3. ha! love these!
    if you have naturally frizzy curly hair, you should never get a shower right before going to bed and sleep on wet hair. unless, of course, you're going for the afro look...

    1. Ha ha, I know exactly what you mean. My hair gets crazy body like that when I am in more humid places. I say just rock the fro look!

  4. The haggen-dazs bar story cracked me up!!

    1. I must say I was chuckling to myself while I was writing that. It just made me realize how ridiculous I must seem sometimes!


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