Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Marriage - the good, bad, and the ugly

For our two year anniversary we got a romantic photo shoot done by Rebecca of Fresh From God Photography. I was so happy with how they turned out! I wanted to get a few more pictures in my dress while I knew I would still fit into it (not sure how that would go these days). 

It was a weird sensation when my sisters came over to help me get into my dress and do my hair and makeup. It definitely brought on some nostalgia as I reminisced about all of the feelings that came with those activities on my wedding day. 

Time really does go by….

Our first year of marriage was great. Our second year of marriage was better. And now we are already well into our third year of marriage and it has truly been amazing. Funny how the difficulties and arguments and struggles and miscommunications just fade away. All that is left are the moments, the memories, the laughter, and the love. 

I have read so many marriage books, I have taken council from many wise people, but there are a few things that I have had to learn for myself for our marriage specifically… not that we have the perfect marriage but we do try :) Learning principles and practicing them are the only elements that have made our marriage better and better as each year has passed. Here are a few little tidbits that I have learned work for us.

-    If you are tired – go to sleep. This has been something that I really struggled with in our first year of marriage. Slowly I learned that it does not do any good to stay awake and talk about everything while we are upset and emotional. Small issues turn into small issues disguised as major problems. Instead of “don’t let the sun go down on your anger” adopt “Everything looks brighter in the morning”. However, we do still ALWAYS kiss each other goodnight and say those three important words. We don't go to bed angry (so that we don't go against the Bible :))... just unresolved.

-   Not everything needs to be “hashed out”. We don’t need to talk about everything. Little things that bother either of us are just that – little things. 

-    If he wants to spend money on me or himself or anything… let him. Although this is one that I am still working through, I have gotten a lot better. I do the finances, I pay the bills, I see where it all goes. And I know just that – it goes. But I am also learning that it isn’t really that big of a deal. Money is just money. Memories are way more valuable. 

These are little things that work for us... they may or may not even be pertinent in your marriage. But I hope it got you thinking about the important things in life. Marriage is one of the most important...therefore it deserves thought, attention, and yes the four letter word... WORK.

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