Marriage. What an amazing and crazy and challenging and
wonderful and difficult union it is. I feel like I have been writing about
marriage a lot. As well I should. It is a big deal in general, and a
particularly big deal in my life.
My sister over at Admissions of a Superhero decided to do a link
up in which the topic of marriage is to be pondered. I am not exactly sure what
it is I want to write about tonight… but as I feel very strongly on this
subject I will just let my fingers tap away on the keyboard while my mind
wanders the expanse that is the topic of marriage.
A few weeks ago I said to that hubby of mine how amazing it was that sometime I feel like marriage is the easiest and most wonderful thing, and then a moment later he is driving me crazy and I feel like marriage is the most challenging thing in the world. I looked at him with expectation that he would confirm how drastic the emotional ups and downs were. But instead of a response such as that he said, “I have never felt that way, I always just feel like it’s good. Pretty easy.” I kind of tilted my head to the right as if to say, “huh? I don’t understand.” I mean we are in this thing together, how can we feel so differently? And yet, this is a perfect example of how different we, as man and woman, are from one another, and how those differences impact everything in our relationship. Our perspective, our feelings, our behavior. I wonder if anyone fully understands this going in.
Somehow I doubt it.
The “Happily ever after” that you are expecting is nothing
like the real thing. The real thing possesses challenges, irritations,
difficulties, battles, disappointments, and tears that you may never have
anticipated. And yet, somehow the real thing is better than you could have
imagined.. It is the best. Sometimes even the fairytale doesn’t hold a candle to the joy
that comes with the pride of building a happy life together because you have
poured your heart and soul into it.
Would we appreciate the comfort of a good marriage if we did
not work for it? Would we understand it’s success if we did not know the
sacrifices we have made to earn that success?
Maybe. But somehow I doubt it. We can look to James for the
answer here. We must persevere through the trials that marriage will inevitably
bring in order to be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
From his answer it sounds like you're a great spouse - especially if he feels like it's always easy. :) Great thoughts! The girls and I have been studying 1 Peter and what he has to say about being a wife. Thus, we've had some good conversations about marriage and it's difficulties but also how they bring much joy. Very well put.
ReplyDeleteNot all of the time. But I do try! I love studying the scriptures about marriage and getting together with a group of like minded women for discussion. Difficulties in life are inevitable. You may as well share them with someone :)
DeleteSo beautiful and so very true. The challenges dim in comparison with the amazing history, adventures, love and family you build together. Marriage just becomes richer and fuller, though never easy.
ReplyDeleteI will take richer and fuller :)
DeleteMy husband and I experience this exact same thing. My husband says he has no idea why people think marriage is hard, that's it's easy and has been awesome and happy. And most of the time, I would agree with him...but there's definitely moments when I do NOT think he is perfectly easy to live with. And it's weird that we can experience the same thing and have two different perspectives, but it's a good thing. We balance each other out!
ReplyDeleteThat is so funny! My husband has told me those exact words. I suppose it is because we are a little more emotional than men (although I am not exactly sure I agree with that stereotype either). But either way you look at it, you are right, we do balance the other out.
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