Marriage. What an amazing and crazy and challenging and wonderful and difficult union it is. I feel like I have been writing about marriage a lot. As well I should. It is a big deal in general, and a particularly big deal in my life.
My sister over at Admissions of a Superhero decided to do a link up in which the topic of marriage is to be pondered. I am not exactly sure what it is I want to write about tonight… but as I feel very strongly on this subject I will just let my fingers tap away on the keyboard while my mind wanders the expanse that is the topic of marriage.
A few weeks ago I said to that hubby of mine how amazing it was that sometime I feel like marriage is the easiest and most wonderful thing, and then a moment later he is driving me crazy and I feel like marriage is the most challenging thing in the world. I looked at him with expectation that he would confirm how drastic the emotional ups and downs were. But instead of a response such as that he said, “I have never felt that way, I always just feel like it’s good. Pretty easy.” I kind of tilted my head to the right as if to say, “huh? I don’t understand.” I mean we are in this thing together, how can we feel so differently? And yet, this is a perfect example of how different we, as man and woman, are from one another, and how those differences impact everything in our relationship. Our perspective, our feelings, our behavior. I wonder if anyone fully understands this going in.
Somehow I doubt it.
The “Happily ever after” that you are expecting is nothing like the real thing. The real thing possesses challenges, irritations, difficulties, battles, disappointments, and tears that you may never have anticipated. And yet, somehow the real thing is better than you could have imagined.. It is the best. Sometimes even the fairytale doesn’t hold a candle to the joy that comes with the pride of building a happy life together because you have poured your heart and soul into it.
Would we appreciate the comfort of a good marriage if we did not work for it? Would we understand it’s success if we did not know the sacrifices we have made to earn that success?
Maybe. But somehow I doubt it. We can look to James for the answer here. We must persevere through the trials that marriage will inevitably bring in order to be mature and complete, not lacking anything.