Since the marriage retreat we attended a few weeks ago, I have been inspired to find our marriage vows. I wanted to peruse them with a new understanding of what we were actually saying when we said, “in good times and in hard times…for richer or for poorer.” Prior to marriage, the whole, “till death do I part” thing does not seem to carry the weight that it should.
So today I dug up my marriage vows and leafed through the notes from both of the pastors on my wedding day. It is funny to look back on the vows now and realize how they cover the inevitable circumstances in marriage, and yet you don’t seem to think about it until you are actually married.
All the romance, excitement, and butterflies are overpowering on that wonderful day in which you commit to one another for life. I am not saying you don’t understand the commitment you are making. I am merely stating that after three years of marriage when you go back over your vows you think, “oh yeah… this is part of marriage.”
Prior to my wedding day my dad (who married us) had us each privately jot down when we fell in love. He made our wedding so perfect and personal by reading those thoughts at our ceremony. I read them today for the first time since then (over three years now!). It is a good thing for your relationship to remind yourself why you fell in love in the first place.
All of the things that I said about Cory then are just as true about him today. I fell in love with him and married him for those same attributes that he possesses and which he demonstrates on a daily basis.
If you did something like that before you got married, you should reread it. And if you didn’t, you should take a moment to recall and then jot down those reasons why you fell in love in the beginning. As you continue to move forward in marriage, it will prove invaluable to recall those moments which led you to “I do”.
Prior to announcing us Mr. and Mrs. For the first time, my dad closed with a beautiful representation of marriage, and I think a good reminder of how wonderful married life should be. He said, “Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be a companion to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth. Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness, and kindness that your relationship deserves. When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at one time or another, remember to focus on what is right and good and always keep your relationship with God a priority.”